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I have been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome many hardships, her resilience is commendable. But, she has been repeatedly taken by surprise by others. Her husband ended their marriage, and it was a huge shock. Several of close acquaintances vanished then, as they were drawn to her husband. She was stunned by her deeply. She made more effort toward our bond, and must have understood more acutely the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

Over the years, quite a few of her friends vanished without her being knowing the cause. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been an excellent employee, her exit happened without knowing why things shifted.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we've both left the workforce so we're spending frequent meetups, but I am finding my role between us is to listen. I introduce subjects only for her to redirect the talk toward her own topics. In terms of politics, she holds firm beliefs. I attempt to propose double-checking information or other angles.

She's been planning a trip to a country I know well repeatedly and lived in previously. I attempted to share insights, but this was not welcomed. She really just desired my agreement with her decisions. I have come back from a month in that place she hopes to reconnect, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I don't want in this role who cuts and runs without explanation, but I don't think she will ever comprehend the impact of how she acts on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, yet this is rarely the peaceful resolution that we desire. Yet having a direct talk with a view to a solution takes courage and willingness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step involves describing how things go in your conversations. This needs to be as factual as possible like exactly what occurs. The second is to express the way it makes you feel. This allows for no disagreement about this. Emotions are your feelings, after all. The third step involves requesting how the two of you can shift the interaction between you."

Keep in mind that she also holds perspectives, so you need to stay open to hear that. A helpful technique involves stating your friend:

"Now you talk and I'm going to not say anything for a set time."

This can be successful for promoting mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

Your friend could ignore everything, since certain individuals cling to a “survival narrative”: they maintain a story about themselves they won't abandon as it feels essential is tied to it and it's all they've known. This is difficult because there's no clear path with these people, mere obstacles. However, she might start out this way then consider about what you've said. And even if a resolution isn't found an agreement, you'll have peace that you've been honest with her.